Top Three Ingredients that are Healthy! Know What You're Eating.

For any readers that are worried about health, here are the Top Three Healthy Ingredients that you should read food labels to look for.

#1. Sugar. This ingredient has contributed to healthiness across America. If not on label, common equally healthy substitutes include high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, sucrose, etc.

#2. Hydrogenated Oil. This, according to a study by Dr. Qu Ack, M.D., increases your chances of living past age 5 by about 0.005 percent. This can contribute to long life.

#3. Artificial Color. This can include such names as Blue 5, or Yellow 7. The more numbers, the longer you might live. Bright colors make one happy, which increases longevity, according to a well known doctor, Dr. Nob Rain.

Reporting from YGStudios,  Bob Bobby.


These views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of the YGStudios or its staff

Happy and Merry Christmas!

I never quite figured out why anybody cared if the news site was saying Merry Christmas to them, unless of course it was, like the editor's mom, you know, but what if it was the editor's..... doctor's...... brother's.....brother-in-law's friend's lawyer's goldfish's caretaker's sisters distant relative's mom, who might still care. Who cares. Merry Christmas. And a happy 2016 as well. #sweet16

-from the staff here at YGStudios

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yup. The temperature fluctuates in our Studios, so it gets a little warm. Also could have something to do with lighting one's hair on fire accidentally. Back to the subject, we should be thankful for many things.
    People don't realize how much our forefathers sacrificed and worked to build our country.
We should be thankful for our blessings, including material and spiritual blessings. Housing, transportation, food, and friends, family, and salvation.


-Happy Thanksgiving from the YGStudios

Food Collection for Bible Study.

This article is written by one of our traveling news correspondents. 


     Reading the earlier YGS article by a concerned youth grouper about pollution and trash, I thought to myself that all leftover food and drink items could be put to use. Seeing as many people come to FBF's Evening Bible study without food, making lots of old ladies stress about not having enough, we could use people’s leftovers for Bible study meals. Since all dumpsters and trash cans would be empty and don't mind being filled with food and most drinks, we could collect leftovers in them and use food from them whenever needed.
       Say you just finished eating all day breakfast from McDonalds and have leftover pancakes, come by the church on your way home and dump them in any of the dumpsters or trash cans you find. On Sunday afternoons, all the food will be collected by the old ladies. They will then prepare it into a yummy soup, casserole, or just serve it like they find it. 
        There will be happiness in many people’s hearts when they learn they don't have to cook anymore for Bible study and can still come enjoy a warm delicious recycled meal.

(Fyi, all dumpsters and trash cans will be given a well deserved bath on Monday morning by the mens bible group.)

Yours truly, 

Fertilda Mae Jr.

-Fertilda May Jr. , News Correspondent, YGS

Walk to Kokrine Hills?

This article was featured in our September 2nd, 1st edition of the Youth Group Scoop 


Airplanes cost money: to fly and maintain. That is precisely why reports of rumors say that Youth Groupers may be walking to Kokrine Hills Bible Camp to help out. If you are lucky enough to get a van ride to Nenana, the distance as Pastor Ben flies is only about 142 miles. So far, Youth Groupers seem excited about the prospect. "I can't wait to do this with my friends!" one girl may have said, "This should replace the Canoe Trip!"

-Jon Wane, YGS.

-YGStudios, (c) 2015

Lesser known drug has Infiltrated Youth Groups across America.

     Drug use is a big problem. 

Users of drugs tend to become addicted to them, with both physical and emotional dependencies wreaking havoc on the user.
     But by and large, there is one drug that has largely escaped the eye of parents and youth leaders across America. In fact, this horrible substance has crept its way into the homes of nearly every family in America. Do you know someone who uses it? Are you unknowingly addicted to this monster? We hope this article raises awareness and gives vital information in this deadly war.
   

    About this drug.

     This drug is a central nervous system stimulant of the methylxanthine class. It is also classified as a psychoactive drug. Unlike most other drugs, it is legal and nearly completely unregulated. But don't let its legality fool you. It is a raging, ravenous beast that rarely gives up its prey. It can be found in many common drinks and foods.

How to recognize this substance.

     It is generally a white, bitter crystalline type of substance, but unfortunately because it can be easily dissolved in liquid, it can be hard to recognize. In many instances, it has been found in espressos, lattes, soft and energy drinks, chocolate, et cetera.

An evil drink that contains this substance.

   Unfortunately many Americans, youth groupers included, drink coffee. Yes, the evils of coffee have spread throughout the entire world. Is your sister doing coffee? Is your youth pastor doing coffee? Even your mom could be doing coffee. It is a monstrosity, how many people have been doing coffee. Don't even try it. Thankfully, it generally tastes disgusting the first few tries, but if you continue to do coffee, you can become addicted. Yes, coffee contains this terrible drug.

Join the war on caffeine.

    Yes. This drug is caffeine. Millions of youth across America are doing it in schools, churches, youth groups, even at home. 

   We must fight against this evil psychoactive drug. Ban it at your youth group. You may have to kick out a couple teenagers for doing caffeine at Youth Group, but it is worth it. Understand that people doing caffeine have physical and emotional dependencies on it. Treatment centers can help, you can form a Caffeine Users Anonymous Chapter at your Youth Group, even a rehabilitation program.

      Help the Youth of America. Join the War against Caffeine. Donate at your local church office.

Sincerely Yours, the Staff at the Youth Group Scoop Studios.

Clean up Pollution and Trash.

  Note: this article does not necessarily reflect the views of  YGStudios or its staff.
  "What has happened to most Youth Groups. Pollution. Trash. This is sad.
We must work on these important issues. Here are a couple tips on how you can improve your Youth Group.

      First, stop putting trash into dumpsters and disposal containers. Why must our youth litter up these beautiful parts of our churches and youth buildings. You could put it on the lawn, on the seats, on the floors, on the stairs, in the woods, but why must you dirty up our dumpsters and trash cans? If we took your name literally, like you take dumpster and trash can literally, we would come up with some interesting things.
    For example if we took little Bobby and threw him in a lake, how happy would he be?
    Or if we took Matt and dumped him in front of the door and stepped on him and wiped our feet on him, he would definitely be unhappy.

   Second, stop polluting our sinks. Youth dump liquids directly into sinks. This causes our drainage and sewage systems to become polluted with dangerous substances such as Red Bulls, Rock-Stars, coffee (an especially dangerous one), lemonade, tea, and other such things.
    Why not kill nasty weeds out in parking lots and fields with such pollutants? This makes much better sense.
   
Youth of the Youth Groups, you are the future of pollution, or cleanliness. Choose which one you will   commit to. The choice is clear: keep our dumpsters, trash cans and sinks clean and unpolluted, or face the consequences of pollution and litter. Thank you."

-A concerned Youth Grouper
(actually a youth grouper: this is why some youth are beginning to attend Adult Sunday School)

-YGStudios, Alaska, the United States, North America, the World, the Solar System, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Universe.

What the Fall Retreat REALLY is!

This article was featured in our 2nd edition of the Youth Group Scoop. 

    The Fall Retreat is said to be a trap in which to catch un-suspecting victims. When you sign up you are actually signing up to clean the entire North Star building in preparation for the Youth Group Leaders Retreat. This is something that they always fail to announce at Youth Group.

-Rosie O.


-YGStudios

This article is mainly based on preliminary reports and has not yet been proven.

An Inside Look at the Youth Group Cereal Bowl.

       -From YGS Studios (C) 2015


   In order to have an accurate understanding of any event, you need a first-hand look.
That is why we sent a reporter, posing as a normal Faith Bible Fellowship youth grouper, to the 2015 FBF Youth Group Cereal Bowl. Here are some of the interesting things he reported.

"I didn't know what to expect at this Cereal Bowl. Preliminary reports indicated that Pastor Ben would simply stay at the church, eating cereal all by himself. Yes, that's right. Pastor Ben may have been planning on sitting in the Fellowship Hall at FBF, polishing off bowl of cereal after bowl of cereal.
     Personally, my suspicions are that Pastor Ben has an identical twin. One twin who loves cereal, and another who is really, really bad at ...... bowling.......

Other than these disturbing reports, the night proceeded like clockwork. People ate cereal, people bowled, people bowled under neon lights, and there was music that was almost as loud as the crowd of people. One girl who had taken bowling lessons lost to the amateurs at bowling time after time. Then again, maybe it was because she had no arms...... or legs.
Reporting for YGStudios, this is Alex M."

-YGStudios

Welcome to the Youth Group Scoop Studios.

Perhaps you are wondering what the Youth Group Scoop is. Or perhaps you are a long-time reader of our paper and have just discovered our website. 

      Either way, you are in for, what is commonly known as a shockingly disappointing surprise.

You probably thought we had all the time in the world to write articles, posts, and updates on current events for you to analyze, enjoy, or criticize. 

      As it turns out, to quote somebody, "WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE, MORONS?"

Now don't let this exclamation or disappointment disappoint or fluster you. (I mean, this disappointment can't be that disappointing, can it?) (Famous Last Words)

This online home to our Studios and Editing Team, or YGStudios.blogspot.com, to be precise, will centralize information, regarding updates to our current status of extra time to write information, if we ever will publish newer editions of the Youth Group Scoop, and if our online guide to life, or the guidetolifefordummies.blogspot.com will ever have another post. 

Do not fret. We promise to attempt to have another edition of the YGS out in the next century.

You're welcome.

From the Editors at the YGStudios.